Contributions

Friday, 3 January 2014

Day 21 - So So So So Much More

I have chosen to immerse myself 24/7 in the “Have More Money” tele-series facilitated by Glenyce Hughes.  The magic and miracles this has opened me up to is beyond words.  I have released so much judgement I had towards myself and now I am in a place I can receive my awarenesses with no point of view and ask questions around it.  So much has changed and the change has been around money and so so so so much more.


Two nights ago I was visiting with my Son (he leaves today to go forward in his life in Burnaby) and I was aware I had created some heaviness with him and really was looking to shift that prior to his departure and asked if we could talk about it.  He is an amazing young man and is so aware and agreed; believe me if he had sensed any heaviness around talking he would have said “no”.  Due to our conversation I am now aware that when my Son chooses not to discuss something with me it is his awareness he is following and not a means to shut me out (that is the conclusion I previously held). The acknowledgement of this has allowed me to really step into honoring what he chooses in place of the defense action I had taken in the past; which created more resistance and separation.  I cannot express how much this alone has changed our relationship.   During this conversation I was able to hear what Jason required of me.  He was looking to create a new type of relationship with me, he no longer wanted me to be his mom. He was looking to create a relationship with me in which he could share and have FUN.  The mother/son relationship we had created no longer worked for him, he was looking for something that was more generative and empowering for the both of us.  I could sense how light the new relationship he wanted to create was. I could also hear I was not willing to and shared that with him;  that I didn't know if I could do that. He asked me why I believed that…my automatic response with no filters was “I would have no purpose.”  I chose to be a single mom and invested all of me in that process.  Hearing myself say with no charge or point of view that I then would have no purpose allowed me to see how much I was in defense holding my purpose in place...WOW!!! This was such a contribution to me!!!  Now that I am able to perceive what was and what could be, I am all for creating a new relationship that is light and expansive and empowering for the both of us with no point of view or defense!!  How does it get any better than that?  I choose to step into choosing in 10 second increments following the lightness-living in the magic, miracles and joy.  Here’s to my new found relationship with JASON!!!!!! How did I get so lucky?  What else is now possible?




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