What could I choose during Christmas that would be FUN for ME?

The other day I talked with my Son and he let me know some details around his stay when he comes to visit in Athabasca for Christmas. What I had planned in my little head around “Christmas will be awesome if”…and what Jason has planned in his head around “Christmas will be awesome if”…are two totally different scenarios.  When I heard his details I chose to be crushed and I felt like someone punched me in the stomach (which when I think around it now…how heavy was my choice to be crushed and all the crazy thoughts that went with that). So many stories came rushing to the surface and so many conclusions became really loud around how NOT FUN my Christmas was going to be.  This led me to ask questions around what I was choosing in that moment around the plans Jason has for himself to make his Christmas special and fun for him.  Where was I in the equation of making my Christmas special and fun for me? How many decisions, judgements, conclusions, computations, projections, separations, expectations, and rejections did I have around Jason making my Christmas special and fun for me? How crazy is that? Where am I making my Christmas special and fun for me? 

Where else in my life am I choosing that? How much pressure and responsibility do I place on others when I base my fun on them? How much do I negate me when it comes to creating the life I truly desire?  Can a person ever truly create a life they desire if they are basing their choices on others and that they show up and how they show up?

WOW! WOW! WOW! What would I like to choose for Christmas that would be FUN for me?

 Not based on anyone else…What would be FUN for me to do if I was the only one showing up for Christmas?
Jason always shows me what choosing for you truly looks like and for that I am grateful; after I clear all the crap I pile on top of it. It makes me happy to know he knows how to create his life based on what he would like and not based on anyone else! I wonder what else is NOW possible?